26 Feb 10 CANCELED: Nick/Tuck
If you follow me on Twitter (as you all should of course), you may have read yesterday where my surgeon canceled my upcoming, and when I say upcoming I mean the surgery was literally happening within 288 hours, surgery.
My medical Doctor here in San Francisco gave me a pre-surgery physical as my surgeon wanted. As I stated before on here, I have a health issue which ultimately will be the death of me. Its because I am not doing well based on my labs, that my Doctor decided to write a letter to the surgeon saying that while nothing may go wrong, my risk for infection could be greater, but may not be.
It’s because of this letter that the surgeon called me up expressing his concern with proceeding and said that I come back within 3-6 months if I am doing better at that time.
HERE’S HOW THIS COULD HAD GONE DIFFERENTLY:
My surgeon wanted to do the physical, but since I was having the procedure done in Florida, it was easier for me to have the physical in San Francisco. I will now be looking for a surgeon either within the San Francisco area, or go with my second, and more expensive choice, in Florida, but have them do the physical.
EVERY SINGLE DOCTOR I SPOKE WITH…and I believe I had 6 consultations with various Doctors said that my condition wouldn’t be an issue in performing the surgery, or recovery. It’s because of one gray-ly worded letter from my medical Doctor that this entire thing has been put on the shelf. BTW, I have already called my rep at Kaiser and asked for a change in Doctors. I never want to see the face of the man who made 7 months of sleeping on the streets all a waste.
I am not sure how I will proceed. I might look for an apartment, and just continue saving and hope in 3-6 months I am ‘better’ and able to have the surgery, but more likely I will continue living on the streets in order to save up the extra ~$3000-5,000 needed to have the surgery done with a different surgeon, keeping my medical Doctor out of the loop.
I WILL HAVE THIS SURGERY WITHIN THE NEXT 196 DAYS…I DON’T CARE IF I HAVE TO CUT MYSELF OPEN IN ORDER TO HAVE IT DONE, IT WILL BE DONE!
Tags: abdomenplasty, fat, lipo, Nick Tuck, surgery, tummy tuck, weight, weight loss, weightloss
22 Jun 09 “You Don’t Need Surgery, You Need Therapy”
How many freaking times am I going to have to hear this? From people on Facebook, Twitter, in person, on here…etc. It literally makes me upset when people say this. Let me explain why for those of you who OBVIOUSLY don’t know me.
My ENTIRE life I have been overweight, fat, picked on, teased, mocked, etc. My parents in 2nd grade started to take me to a therapist to talk about the bullies at school. This was not the first nor the last time I was in a shrink’s chair.
Throughout grade school I saw another doctor or two for talk therapy…the only thing which stopped the bullies and the people picking on me was moving to a school where no one knew me, and I could start over fresh.
After high school I became even more suicidal and depressed. I moved to Alabama with this girl I was seeing, but didn’t really like when I was around age 21. When we separated and she stole all the money out of my bank account, I walked in front of a Semi only to be saved by my room mate. My parents came up and brought me back home to stay with them. A few days later my mom tells me that she called bill collectors and made payment arrangements for me…something I didn’t ask her to do, nor did I ever plan on paying them back. I didn’t know what to say so I gave her the silent treatment on the ride home from work.
She called both my psychologist and psychiatrist which I started to see and they had me put in the mental ward as they thought I had blanked out like I did when I walked in front of the semi. I hadn’t and was just mad at my mom…now was even more pissed b/c she got me locked up for about 3 weeks.
This wasn’t the first nor the last trip to the mental ward. There were numerous trips over the next few months & years. I saw more doctors outside of the hospital…I tried so many combinations of pills all of which had no effect on me or my mental state. Talk therapy didn’t work…locking me up didn’t work (I literally escaped on 2 or 3 occasions…once I got so far as to hop in a cab in the hospital parking lot, but the rush of hospital workers pouring out of the hospital to try to get me stopped the cabbie.)
I have been so screwed up for my entire life. Hell the New York Times even published a story of my suicidal ideations in relation to Twitter. I’ve been in and out of mental wards, in and out of so many doctors couches for therapy my entire life…it just doesn’t help.
Since moving to San Francisco and being able to feel free about who I am and come out, I have been healthier…mentally and physically. I lost 100lbs since I moved out here and have really only had one major suicidal outbreak, although the thought still plagues my thoughts most nights. 
As I mentioned before…as long as I knew of such a thing, I wanted weight loss surgery. I LOST 100 POUNDS ON MY OWN…BY GOING TO THE GYM AND EATING RIGHT. I am sick of people telling me, “just go to the gym” or “just eat right” …I FUCKING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have 100 pounds of weight loss to prove it you assholes. I now also have skin left over from being overweight my entire fucking life. I want to get rid of that, and I need to (both for my physical state, but also for my mental state).
So don’t fucking tell me to just go to the gym or start dieting…I have…and don’t tell me to just seek help…it doesn’t work. I will live my own life, you live yours.
Tags: insane, mental, mental ward, pills, psychiatrist, psychologist, shrink, therapy, weight loss
05 Aug 08 The secret to my success…
HA! If you know me for real, you know that I am not a wildly successful person, but recently I have been quite successful at losing weight. I remember going clothes shopping with my mother and buying size husky as a child. I’ve always been heavy as far back as I can remember, and was picked on at school for it. I got down to 177 back in 2002 in order to join the Navy, but haven’t been that low until now. Recently, I have gone from my all time high (that I measured on a scale) of around 220 (but there was a period where I didn’t get on a scale because I knew I had been eating poorly and gained a lot of weight since the last time I weighed myself and topped at around 250) all the way down to 155 where I am at now. I’m in the best shape of my life (including most of high school). How did I do it? Let me tell you.
Feb 2005
First off I started as most people do at New Year’s thinking to myself that I would love to shed some extra pounds. My friend (at the time) Billy and I were hanging out and going to the gym. He told me he wanted to lose weight in time for Pride, which I had no idea about at that time. Pride in San Francisco is the last weekend in June, which put the goal about 6 months out. I figured this was a good goal to set and decided on 165-160 as my goal. Quite lofty for a guy in his 200’s, but something to strive for.
Feb 2006
Before this I was doing a high carb; low fat diet. I would eat all the foods I wanted as long as there was little to no fat in them. Pretty much my diet consisted of beans & rice. While this diet might of been effective for some, it wasn’t working for me very well.
May 2006
I decided to go with an old diet I had done in the past with mild success. I got down to about 185 with it before and figured I would give it a full go this time. It isn’t the Atkins diet and it isn’t the South Beach diet, but somewhere in between. (Let me also interject here that I drink a SHITLOAD of water every day. While I do still occasionally drink diet soda, I make sure to have at least 9-10 8oz glasses of Voss water a day.)
Sept 2006
Breakfast: I would eat depending on time (which most days was very little) an Atkins breakfast bar or shake shortly after waking up (6am-8am). These chocolate shakes turn out to be pretty yummy. If I had more time, I would fix up about 2 eggs as scrambled or over medium. When I got to work, I would microwave 2-4 pieces of precooked bacon as a 9am-10am snack.
March 2007
Snack: If I got hungry outside of the bacon, I would have a string cheese. Cheese turned out to be one of the best snacks for me, as it is something I love, but also is very low in carbs. I would get 50% reduced fat cheese and other low-fat cheese to help reduce the daily fat intake.
June 2007
Lunch: Now let me explain that I am very much a meat and potatoes person. I don’t like most vegetables, fruits, salads, etc. I am one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. My lunch would consist of 2 turkey sausages or 2-3 turkey hot dogs. I would microwave them for about 30-45 seconds, then pull them out and slice them down the middle. Pour my favorite condiment of the day on, then finish cooking.
Sept 2007 (I didn’t eat anything for 3 weeks)
Here is a HUGE tip…these meals are quite repetitive, at least they were for me. Here’s the tip on mixing them up. SPICES & SAUCES! Every day I would pick a different spice, mustard, etc to put on my meals to help mix things up and keep the tastes different. I love Emril’s Essence, Boar’s head spicy mustard, and low-carb/reduced sugar Heinz ketchup. BTW be careful with mustard, almost all of them are zero carbs, but once you start getting into honey mustards the carbs rack up quickly.
Sept 2007 (Obviously started eating again)
Snack: In the afternoon I would grab another string cheese or more often a sugar free Jello. Throw on a dollop of light whipped cream (0-2 carbs) and you have a yummy and low-carb snack.
November 2007
Snack: Between leaving work and dinner I would sometimes have a snack. It might of been a carrot, piece of cheese, or Atkins bar (which are going up in price recently, but still worth buying to help fight those chocolate/sugary cravings).
December 2007
Dinner: Being new to California and not used to the expensive cost of living, I would stay clear of eating out as much as possible. Instead I would buy frozen or raw chicken breasts and cook them up at home. There are plenty of great zero/low carb dressings to marinade your chicken in. This is where spices would play a huge factor as well. Every night a different spice or different sauce to pour on. I would occasionally eat a helping of cooked broccoli (with melted cheese on top) to round out my dinner and keep me from being hungry the rest of the night.
Feb 2008
Here is the key though…as much as diet played a factor….EXERCISE is what helped me lose the weight. I would go to the gym, even if I didn’t want to 3-6 times a week and do at least 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I would go and work on some of the equipment as well, and always do at least 100-200 crunches. It wasn’t an intense workout, but I would maintain certain goals while on the elliptical.
April 2008
Working out became something that I looked forward to (so cliche I know), but it is true. I would typically go after work, but have recently started toning up more and doing more machines, so I go in the morning to do weights and still do my cardio on the way home from work.
May 2008
I also for a large portion of the diet have taken Alli. It is one of the first OTC diet/weightloss drugs the FDA has approved. It has some crazy “treatment effects” which I am glad to say I never had, but with the wrong intake of fat you are in for some nasty times. I would take one pill with each meal. Alli isn’t the answer for everyone, but it does help eliminate up to 25% of the fat put into your body while eating.
June 2008
That’s about it….diet, exercise, and Alli were the main secrets to my success. I am still not exactly where I want to be and with such rapid and dramatic weight loss I have some left over areas I am trying to tone up now. Am I where I want to be? No way…Don’t get me wrong, I love the new me and feel great as I went from a size 36 to 34 to 33 to 32/31 and now to 31/30. I just want to feel more comfortable nekkid and specifically with my shirt off. I am sure that I will get there with time and effort.
July 2008
I hope this helps you, I know this plan isn’t right of everyone, but being a very picky eater I think I can maintain the diet for sometime to come…as long as they keep slaughtering those stupid chickens, I will be sure to have them for dinner.
Tags: 155, 220, alli, alli weight loss, atkins, cardio, exercise, fat, fatso, loss, nick, nick starr, pride, pride sf, south beach, starr, weight, weight loss
08 Jul 08 Time to set some new goals
When I first started off at the beginning of the year, I wanted to get to 160lbs before Pride. I managed to reach that goal weeks before Pride and according to my scale last night I am down to 155.1 lbs.
When I was in Toronto, I couldn’t help notice that I still am not where I want to be with my body, and personally with my life. My room (and this is no shocker to anyone who has known me) is quite messy…I still haven’t really unpacked things after moving in a few months ago. Financially, quite honestly I am not well off at all. Finally, physically I want to be….and this is a major thing for me…able to take off my shirt and not be embarrassed or scared.
Ever since I was a little child, I can remember my mom going and picking out the “husky” sized jeans for me to wear. I for an entire summer didn’t eat very much in high school, and dropped to the weight in the picture above. That was my junior year of high school…and I had girlfriend after girlfriend. I felt confident and good about how I looked.
Now that I am down to the weight I want to be at, I would like to start working on more then simply cardio and a little weights. I want to tone up, as I am now left with the flab of a former 220 lb frame. My tummy still sticks out some, my arms are flabby and not muscular at all. Now I HATE physical labor and working out…so this is going to be a HUGE challenge for me.
I am going to with everything in me start working out on a bi-daily basis. I will do weights & gym equipment in the morning, followed by my standard 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I also want to incorporate maybe another 30 minutes on an exercise bike to make my cardio up to an hour long. Also doing crunches every time I am at the gym should help work my stomach out.
Now I mentioned before that I am not good with money. I spend it like it is going out of style, so getting a personal trainer is a priority for me, but I want to make sure that I am secure financially first.
Finally, my room. I am going to, after working out tonight, start to clean up. It is quite a mess, and I have 2 cabinets that are still not put together. Like I said, I hate HATE HATE cleaning…so it is going to be quite a task. I also think I want to get rid of my queen sized Aero bed, as it takes up a large majority of my room. I’m thinking a futon might be a better and more reliable choice, and will take up quite a bit less space.
I think with a cleaner room, it will help motivate me to be less lazy and be happier….being around a mess can be depressing, especially when you know you “should” clean it up.
I want to blog more, I just feel like I am short on time. I think getting my life into more of a pattern and schedule will help me. I am not good at sticking to things…AT ALL, so maybe some structure will help me out.
BTW I don’t want to set any hard and fast goals on this one, but I would like to be able to post a picture with no shirt on by the end of the year, and be comfortable with it.
Tags: abs, pride, tone, tone up, weight, weight loss, weightloss, work out, workout
