24 Feb 10 Updated: A History of Dating…
I updated the History of Dating Nick post with the following new content. There is far too much to say about Jim, so keep your eyes out for a whole chapter in my book, but for now here is a brief summary of the three most recent guys I’ve dated…oh and that is THREE dates… since November…that is an average of one date every 38.6 days…or less than one per month.
Below is the updated info:
Jim - Jim started following me online around Pride 2009, where I had a very large break down mentally. Not the best time for a possible boyfriend to start reading about your life. One day he saw me on the Muni, and sent me an email on Facebook later that day. We hung out a few weeks later just as friends, getting to know each other, etc. He was kinda seeing this other guy at the time, and I didn’t want to impose or be a “home wrecker.” Our friendship blossomed, and we held hands one day. A few days later, I asked him out on a date. He said yes, and I remember him saying he enjoyed bowling. We went bowling on our date, grabbed ice cream, and just enjoyed each other’s company. A few days later, he said that this couldn’t continue due to a number of concerns he had. We stayed friends, and things eventually became romantic again, then he stopped it again…this happened about five more times (thus far as of writing this on Feb 24th). Every time with us getting close, sometimes kissing, sometimes more, sometimes less, and then almost as if he were to awake from some dream, his feelings would just as suddenly snap, and he wouldn’t even want to be friends. Jim is the closest I’ve gotten to any one person in San Francisco, and quite honestly since my best friend in high school over 10 years ago. I am uncertain of the future we have as friends, but I am hopeful that eventually we can work past these feelings we have and be friends.
Adam In Toronto - I met him the first night of a work trip in Toronto in the beginning of November 2009, we talked at The Barn and I ran into a guy I met the previous Toronto Trip, Phil. Adam and I hit it off and hung out every day while I was up there. We finally went out on our first and last date a few hours before I had to fly back to San Francisco. We sat down, had dinner, talked about our lives, goals, etc, but alas he lives in Canada, and I can’t immigrate there. He did come to San Francisco a few months later in February 2010 for 3 days, but things weren’t as we both remembered them, and it was a very strained trip…no dates, just showing him around SF and trying to not kill each other. We remain friends and hopefully will be able to stay that way for life, as for a relationship, I don’t see it in the works.
Leo - You can read all about the date with Leo here…let’s just say that he was already seeing someone else at the time, and at one point in the date even had him join us. Epic fail (on his and my part to be honest).
In all of this, with every single guy…I’ve been the person asking them out on a date. I’ve never in my entire life been asked out. That fact alone makes me realize that Nick/Tuck, and maybe in the future moving to a new city is something I might need…yet another new start and lease on life. Who knows what the future hold, but I am almost certain given my track wreck record, it isn’t anything good, and most certainly doesn’t involved someone who cares or loves me.
Tags: date, date nick starr, Dating, history of dating nick, nick, starr
13 Dec 09 Datings a Drag…
“If I wouldn’t had just started seeing this guy seriously earlier this week, I would had totally taken you home and had sex with you.”
That ISN’T how the night started. It is technically where it ended, at least in my mind. Last night I went out with this very cute Russian guy I had met on Loopt Mix. (For the non-tech savvy, Loopt is a way of updating where you are so you know where your friends are and vice versa. Loopt Mix is a spin off where you can look for people of similar interests nearby, be it dating, friendship, sex, etc.) We decided to grab drinks at Marlena’s first, and set the time for 6:30. He had asked if 6 or 6:30 was better, I choose the later as I wasn’t sure how it would go.
I wasn’t really excited for the date, as I’ve recently as this week kinda stopped seeing/hanging out with/whatever (he is a whole novel wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma…and all for another day.) So, he was on my mind still and I didn’t have high expectations for the date. I’ve only been on 10 of them, and all of them 1st dates with 10 different guys…I don’t have much success.
I get there at 6:15 so I am early, but oh well. He texts me and informs me he won’t be there until 7, so now my 15 minutes early has turned into 45 minutes of waiting and well…drinking.
He shows up in bleached blonde hair; now this guy from earlier in the week I previously mentioned kept bugging me to dye my hair back to bleached blonde, and I did. LUCKILY, in a purging process, I dyed it back the night before the date to its natural dirty blonde. It would had just been silly two bleached blondes on a date. The conversation was okay…he talked a lot, and I laughed b/c I was nervous and wasn’t sure what to say.
We went to Katya Smirnoff-Skyy’s new stage show Katya’s Holiday Spectacular, and the two people in all of San Francisco who can’t stand me, and I’ve tried to reconcile with, are also in the crowd. Fuck my life. They also both know my date and start conversing with him, totally ignoring me as per usual. Fuck my life. The show was amazing, did I mention he is Russian, so seeing Katya, who plays a Russian red headed Countess with an amazing classically trained voice is even more special. He also has done drag and stood in when Katya couldn’t make it before.
The night continues and we head back to Marlena’s for a night of drag, music, booze, etc. We are now having a great time, being a bit flirty, tipsy, etc. Things weren’t going spectacular, but going well none the less.
Here is where I have to blame myself for being in the wrong. There was this really cute 21yr old guy with shaggy blonde hair, who he and I kept passing glances at each other. I couldn’t really do anything, but he followed me into the bathroom later on in the night. We talked for quite some time, exchanged information, and briefly kissed. BAD NICK, but okay whatever…the other guy never had a clue.
The bar is closing, and we hop in his car off to who knows where. Everything is closing, so we rush to the liquor store and grab a bottle of wine. While in the car outside talking, he says…
“If I wouldn’t had just started seeing this guy seriously earlier this week, I would had totally taken you home and had sex with you.”
Okay, so let’s be honest, sex is great, amazing, wonderful, fun, exciting, etc,
but I am looking for a boyfriend. I didn’t really want to have sex on the first date…this is my new strategy on trying to get a 2nd date. Oh well…so he’s got this other guy…great. Now he is like, do you want to go to The Endup. I’ve never ended up there before, so I figure what the hell. On the way there, he picks up this guy he is seeing. WHAT THE FUCK? Awkward, right? Fuck my life.
We go to The Endup, pay the $20 cover, and go in. I wasn’t having any of this night any longer, so I sneak off outside when they are making out, and hop in a cab back to the weekly rental hotel I’m staying at this week, and off to bed.
Fuck my life.
Tags: date, drag show, Endup, Loopt Mix, Marlenas, nick starr, sf
22 Sep 09 A History of Dating Nick
I am sick of people trying to blame me exclusively for not being able to get a second date with a guy…so let me run down my history of dating thus far with guys. This is a list of guy’s I’ve legitimately gone out with and we both knew it was a real date.
Michael P- I talked to Michael online, bumped into him at a bar one night, etc. I was never really that attracted to him in the end, plus sexually we weren’t a match, well at least I thought so. We hung out for a while because our friends were mostly the same and we ended up in the same places together. We went out on our own but ultimately I wasn’t into him and we weren’t dating/exclusive/etc and I hooked up with someone else and that is how that ended.
Jovan - A hookup which lead to a dinner, and no where else. I didn’t even want to go on the dinner with him.
Junior - He passed out in the bathroom of the cocktail mixer we were attending because he was on a number of drugs at the time. I tried contacting him numerous times after this, and eventually heard from him months and months later. Something about a rough time in his life, embarrassed because of what happened, etc.
Ben - Ben and I went and had a great time together at this tech event at 21st Amendment. We heard about this other party thru a friend, and with this friend headed to the other party. The next morning the host of the party and my iPhone were missing. Ben was blamed, I was blamed, it turned into this huge controversy online, police were called to question Ben if he took the phones, and after that he wanted no part of hanging out with ‘my friends’ or people like that at the party who would blame him simply b/c they didn’t know him. To this day no one knows who took the phones, as they were ‘anonymously returned.’
Michael D- Michael was the closest to a …well…I don’t even know. When we first met we hooked up, we would see each other nearly every day, but it was more as friends. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t hold hands, we never had sex again. In the end we hated each other and no longer talk.
Alfredo - He was such a great guy. We hung out and while we did end up having sex on the first date, we still talked and things seemed to be going well. He invited me out to brunch a few days later, which one might think would be a date, but it was to tell me that he was accepted to college in Santa Barbara, and would be leaving in the next few weeks, and didn’t want to get emotionally involved in a situation where he knew he would be leaving.
Dawson - We hung out and had a great evening. Later on that night, after we had parted ways, I find out that he had a great evening the night previously with my neighbor. I’m not sure if he found out that I knew he was going out on dates with multiple people or not, and I did hear that he changed rehab programs and was staying in a different rehab facility, but never heard from him after that.
So it isn’t like I’m saying something stupid to scare these people away…it just hasn’t ended up working out. Things seem to come up which screw up what could be a good thing, but alas maybe that is fate, and maybe I am destined to just be single forever, but don’t say that is MUST be my fault, and that I always sleep with the guy on the first date.
[Updated Feb 24th]
Jim - Jim started following me online around Pride 2009, where I had a very large break down mentally. Not the best time for a possible boyfriend to start reading about your life. One day he saw me on the Muni, and sent me an email on Facebook later that day. We hung out a few weeks later just as friends, getting to know each other, etc. He was kinda seeing this other guy at the time, and I didn’t want to impose or be a “home wrecker.” Our friendship blossomed, and we held hands one day. A few days later, I asked him out on a date. He said yes, and I remember him saying he enjoyed bowling. We went bowling on our date, grabbed ice cream, and just enjoyed each other’s company. A few days later, he said that this couldn’t continue due to a number of concerns he had. We stayed friends, and things eventually became romantic again, then he stopped it again…this happened about five more times (thus far as of writing this on Feb 24th). Every time with us getting close, sometimes kissing, sometimes more, sometimes less, and then almost as if he were to awake from some dream, his feelings would just as suddenly snap, and he wouldn’t even want to be friends. Jim is the closest I’ve gotten to any one person in San Francisco, and quite honestly since my best friend in high school over 10 years ago. I am uncertain of the future we have as friends, but I am hopeful that eventually we can work past these feelings we have and be friends.
Adam In Toronto – I met him the first night of a work trip in Toronto in the beginning of November 2009, we talked at The Barn and I ran into a guy I met the previous Toronto Trip, Phil. Adam and I hit it off and hung out every day while I was up there. We finally went out on our first and last date a few hours before I had to fly back to San Francisco. We sat down, had dinner, talked about our lives, goals, etc, but alas he lives in Canada, and I can’t immigrate there. He did come to San Francisco a few months later in February 2010 for 3 days, but things weren’t as we both remembered them, and it was a very strained trip…no dates, just showing him around SF and trying to not kill each other. We remain friends and hopefully will be able to stay that way for life, as for a relationship, I don’t see it in the works.
Leo - You can read all about the date with Leo here…let’s just say that he was already seeing someone else at the time, and at one point in the date even had him join us. Epic fail (on his and my part to be honest).
In all of this, every single guy…I’ve been the person asking them out on a date. I’ve never in my entire life been asked out. That fact alone makes me realize that Nick/Tuck, and maybe in the future moving to a new city is something I might need…yet another new start and lease on life. Who knows what the future hold, but I am almost certain given my track wreck record, it isn’t anything good, and most certainly doesn’t involved someone who cares or loves me.
