31 Dec 08 2008…The Year of Transformations

Two thousand eight…2008….wow what a year. I don’t even know where to begin. I started the year off…well I don’t even remember what I did for New Year’s Eve last year. The year started off though for me when I joined a gym and actually started going for real. I set a goal in February to change my life and body and come down from my all time high weight of 220-230 down to 160 within 120 days. This was surprisingly not as difficult as I would of thought, and while I still hate doing the weights at the gym, cardio is something I am less scared of now. I met my goal ahead of schedule, in time for the 2008 San Francisco Pride fest. 

Speaking of which, I also finally came out this year. It was one of the scariest few weeks of my life as I drafted my email/post which I would send to my family and friends, and post on the site here. I got a reply from my mom a few hours before I had planned on posting it on the site and to my shock they took it a lot better then I would of thought. 

It was one of the biggest reliefs after I hit submit ever. It was like a weight lifted, and I finally feel free to be myself without trying to hide who I am. 

 

I got to travel quite a bit this year as well. I went to Toronto, Chicago, Milwaukee, Las Vegas, Seattle, Los Angeles, and back to where I grew up in Tampa Bay, Florida to see my family for the first time since I moved out to San Francisco nearly a year and half ago.

HA! I also finally cut my hair, after years of growing it out and thinking that it looked good…wow was I blind or who knows what. It really was a transformational year for me. Quite a lot of changes, and hopefully 2009 will lead to more changes. 

I am really proud of myself and accomplishing nearly everything I set out to do in 2008. In 2009 I want to set some tougher goals and hope that I can be as successful. I want to not just lose weight, but tone up and get over my dread of working weights at the gym. I want to more then double what I can bench press, which isn’t much at all, and have a body I am proud to show off when I head to Gay Days Disneyworld in June. I also REALLY need to get my finances in line. I am looking to getting a second job part time in order to help jump start this process, but I would really like to set aside 25% of my paycheck into a savings account, and build up a few month buffer as a ‘rainy day fund.’ Right now I am literally living payday advance to payday advance and often have little to no money by the time it is time to pay bills. 

Also a sort of major thing for me is to get out more (I know I go out to bars all the time, but I mean in other venues), and go out on dates which hopefully will lead to a relationship. I have been single since 2002, when I was living with a girlfriend in Portland, Oregon. A lot in my life has changed since then, and I would like to share my life with someone else. I’ve signed up for 6 months on Chemistry.com (for $159) and hope this jump starts the process. I might sign up for Match.com as I sort of have become not a fan of the way Chemistry.com works by sending you only a select few matches. 

I also want to develop friendships in 2009. I have a TON of “friends” as I see it. Plenty of people I see at various parties, clubs, bars, etc who know me and vice versa

 and the conversation is always small talk yet nothing of substance. Sometimes it is nothing more then a, “Hey…” I really feel as if I don’t have any REAL friends here though. I want to develop friendships hopefully with some of the people already in my life, but also others who I might not know yet. I really feel alone here in San Francisco at times, like there is no one who KNOWS me. I know that a lot people who read my stuff online know more then anything my “friends” here know about me. I don’t even think a single one of my gay “friends” know that I lived in my car for over a year, or any of the other major events which have shaped my life. It really is depressing at times feeling so alone in a city where I know so many people. 

Well that was my 2008, and hopes and dreams for 2009. I hope that I can be as successful this upcoming year as I was last. Regardless I’m sure that there will be no shortage of stories and exciting adventures which I will be sure to write about here as well as on Twitter (my microblog). I look forward to seeing what the future has in store.

Tags: 2008, 2009, coming out, gay, gym, new year, new years eve, nye, pride, san francisco, sf, toronto, travel, weight, weightloss