Nick Starr.com : Nick Starr dot com

Holy crap man… I guess it’s back to adultfriendfinder.com

Could be worse, you could have joined plentyoffish.com and seen that dating is on a race to dumb itself down to the Nth degree.

“I like to go out and have fun! Send me a message!”

whoa, Don’t you have all of those flickrlicious babes to choose from as ‘friends’? Seriously, you sound a mite discouraged when you should be proud of your apparently unique qualities I don’t really know what I’m saying, just cheer up, man. eHarmony isn’t all it’s cracked up to be it seems. Not that I ever envisioned it as cracked up to be anything special in the first place.

Nick, don’t worry about eHarmony too much. I do have to ask you what did you put for religion, we have a theory that if you didn’t put catholic or something in the Christian sects, then you automatically get that message. A freind of mine filled out that stupid survey and she put Wiccan or Pagan at first and then went back with Catholic and got a totally different answer.

eHarmony, pissing on the minority religions of the world.

My younger brother filled out their survey and got the same reply about not being able to find a match.

I didn’t get that message - and I am a member but…. Unless youa re well… VERY Christian religious your probably not goign to find anyone there anyway - Interesting but….. I think I may have wasted my money - But worry not! Unless your interested in the devout Chritian fundamentalists Eharmony is probably not for you - at least they were honest.

I didn’t get that message - and I am a member but…. Unless youa re well… VERY Christian religious your probably not goign to find anyone there anyway - Interesting but….. I think I may have wasted my money - But worry not! Unless your interested in the devout Chritian fundamentalists Eharmony is probably not for you - at least they were honest.

Hey, I’ll read yourprofile.
(I came across your comments when starting to look at possible match services by reading reviews.)
Katja (non-Christian lady in LA)

I filled out the personality profile and receive the same response just yesterday. Keep your head up because there is someone out there for you. It just may not be the right time yet.

I did the same thing last night and got the same “sorry - we can’t help you” response… though it was able to give me a 5 page description of my “ideal match”. Funny. I should photocopy that and leave it under people’s windshield wipers with my phone number - it might be more effective. I guess I was naive for thinking eHarmony would have any suitable matches for me within a 30 mile radius of NEW YORK CITY. I guess there just aren’t enough men.

That happened to me the first time I filled out that college-test type questionaire. Believe it or not, I was in a bad place at the time. I retook the test maybe a week later and it hooked me up like fat.
But that’s the catch and bait. Eharmony isn’t what it’s claiming…the level of expectations. Your shot is at about 1 in a 1,000 you really do find the “love of your life” worthy of an exchange of vows that Eharmony exclaims so proudly over and over ad nauseum.

Hey, you really want on?? Put in Christian. But remember, it’s just a numbers thing. Not the scientific bull they claim.

Good luck.

Maybe all of us who havent got any matchs are actually compatible I got the same to night to.

I signed up for eharmony on Feb 22nd and I’ve only received 7 matches. I have to say I closed them all out for various reasons. One guy I actually talked to on the phone and he sounded pretty normal and we talked over the phone for two hours. Then (typical) he said he would call again but did not and I closed him out. He was from Ca anyway so I didn’t have high expectations anyway. But he did sign up around the same time I did and he said he received over 30 matches!! and receives about 5 a day (maybe he was too busy to call!!)(he was actually cute too) Anyway, I joined after TWO girls from my work got engaged (one is already married by now) through someone they met through eHarmony. So, my whole take is: I have easily spent more than $100 on drinks at a bar and had NO luck. So, what’s the difference between that and dropping a $100.00 or so on this service. After all..there are no guarantees and for what it’s worth…the persoanlity and compatibility profiles were pretty right on (my profile did say I was a glass is half full type of gal

If your feeling down about being rejected by E harmony (I was sent that same letter too). See the link below. I actually think we are the lucky ones…

Frankly I am now feeling pretty good. I mean what would it mean if you were found acceptable by a company who engages in these kinds of practices.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/eharmony.html

Hey, I got the same message. I sent them a reply that perhaps they should match the 20% with each other. Seems pretty obvious. Anyway, I’d love to correspond with anyone who’s written in this blog — just reading the responses, I began to feel that that 20% might be able to find each other.

I took the stupid test twice and got the error both times. The first time I did it i was very specific about myself, so the second I did it very vaugely and made all related questions answer as close as I could. I still got denied. Wasted two hours just to find out I’m a weirdo.

I, for one, appreciate that eharmony does filter out people who are difficult to match. If anything, it is testament to eharmony’s ethics. It would be far easier and much more profitable, at least in the short-sterm, for eharmony to lower its standards and match anyone who applies. While I have not found my “soulmate,” I have gone on several eharmony dates and have found them all to come across as emotionally well adjusted and interesting people.

I wonder how much E harmony paid you to make that statement Mitch. I for one dont believe for a minute that a website that discriminates based on whatever super secret criteria they claim to have is bettern at finding a mate than good judgement and prayer if you believe. The truth is long before E harmony relationships required work faith and commitment and long after e harmony is gone they will still need the same thing.

E harmony creates a false sense of security and maybe you let your gaurd down when you shouldnt which is why there are some people who have not had the good experiences they had hoped for.

Frankly its a false idol to me… Put your faith in prayer and patience to find the one God or your higher power has out there for you. NOT in the 40 something 2 hour question session in the commercial.

To: Briamah

Eharmony paid me nothing to make my statement. I agree with your main point. People who place too much hope in any internet dating site risk dissapointment and, as this blog certainly indicates, anger, misplaced as it might be, anger nonetheless. I suspect that one of the filters the test applies is the screening of a certain personality trait or tendency to become angry or overly dissapointed at rejection. On another note, demonstrate some intellectual honesty! Do you truly believe that suplicant prayer works better than any other method at finding romance? Just keep on praying. Perhaps Jesus will see fit to send you a boyfriend. I continue to be amazed that it is predomnately people who seem to go through life most unhappily and negatively that put their hope in prayer. On second thought, a prayer might be all you you’ve got.

Dear Mitch,
You have got to be some kind of a …gee’s I don’t know what. I sure you would never put your light under a “rock”. But, blasting others that don’t have your “faith”. I’m sure you will be rewarded for that in the “after life”.

Now, MWM ISO fun girl, ?? :>))

[...] Well I guess I will not be signing up for that service, guess it’s time to go back to getting rejected by eHarmony. Technorati Tags: date, dating service, drinks, eHarmony, its just lunch, lunch date, tampa, Tampa Bay, Thoughts, undatable June 23rd, 2006 @ 09:15 AM • Filed under Thoughts, Tampa Bay [...]

Eddie, you are sure I’ll be “rewarded in the afterlife?” Yes, I’m sure that you would be dissapointed if I don’t sufer eternal damnation. It just cracks me up that the same people who profess love, and claim that God does too, for man are the same people who believe that God actually sends people to hell for eternity for the crime of not being superstitious enough to believe in what cannot be proven, heard, or seen. It’s a variation of your same superstition (a belief that God intevenes in human affairs), Eddie, that caused a group of evil idiots to crash planes into the twin towers. The world will be a better place when we all start rejecting faith and embrace reason!

Mitch

Fill out the personality profile again. The first time I filled out the personality profile I got the same message that you got. The second time around I was more careful in answering the questions and I finally was able to get matches.

dude i just signed up and everything for this and i have no matches at all. its sad to say that there isnt a damn link to leave comments, let alone a single match considering how limited the profiling is - so i can say i just blew 20 bucks for nothing, and now i cant get a refund, let alone talk to anybody who runs the site and ask wtf is up…
better off with yahoo lol… but seriously dude. my match wasnt what you posted. i just got, no matches…

[...] Remember a while back when I posted about being rejected by eHarmony? I was interviewed today by a reporter from the Wall Street Journal about being turned down by eHarmony. Well as it turns out, apparently it sucks to be single in Tampa. [...]

[...] Remember a while back when I posted about being rejected by eHarmony? I was interviewed today by a reporter from the Wall Street Journal about being turned down by eHarmony. Well as it turns out, apparently it sucks to be single in Tampa. Forbes recently listed the best US cities for singles. Tampa ranked 35th of the 40 cities included. The top place was Denver/Boulder, and the worst place for singles is Greensboro, NC. The only reason Tampa didn’t rank dead last is because we were 7th in online dating, and 13th in job growth. [...]

I signed up for eharmony for one month and then tried to cancel out a few
days later. They gave me 3 mos for the price of one. The first guy that
got to open communication talked about himself for a solid 30 minutes and
never even asked my last name. I figured he was so “great” that he was
better off alone. The other eleven or so were all way out west. One was
severely handicapped and somewhat retarded, too. And the last one was
pushing me to drop everything and run away with him the minute open communication began. He was so pushy and eager that he scared the hell
out of me. No more eharmony for me. I’ll adopt a cat and stay home.

I think we need to start a Eharmony Reject Dating Site. Obviously we are all unique individuals who don’t fall within the normal parameters of society….We are HONEST!

A site where the 20% could hook up would be great! I got that same message even though I’m catholic. I’ve read that eharmony sends that message to people who may be depressed.

I just filled this out and got a worse rejection. I only clicked “Christian” and “Episcopalian” for religion. I chose 100% of four countries to meet people in: USA, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Same response people. In 1/2 billion people no one is compatable with me.

Well;
After I spent my money, I figured you guys are right. First of all I’m 50, not your typical 50, not dead, no pot belly etc. Actually I’m more like your average 30 year old but that’s off topic. Here’s the deal, they should rename it eugly, or ehopeless, or edespate………. man, I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of over religious hopeless people. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I”m not looking for cindy crawford or anything, but at least someone that has some external attractive features…geez ! As for me, no I”m not Brad Pitt, but I take care of myself, and have been told I’m a good looking fellow and yes, I realize it is not all about looks… do yourself a favor go find a hooker or resort to simply understanding your alone !

So I felt incredibly rejected to find out what I knew already, that it will be a rare person to match me…I was just hoping that here was some truth to the hoopla, and thank God I didn’t spend any money….It is so incredibly hard to reach out anyway for a shy person. I would be interested in a dis-harmony website….

oh yes, I do know people who “lie” gasp “lie” to get into the matching race, what exactly is the point of that? Re-do is not an option.

I was thinking of starting a web-site for the unique 20%(of which I proudly fall), called E-Disharmony!

Don’t worry too much about E-Harmony. These people are the biggest load of bull since Dr. Fraud—Er I Mean Dr. Phil. First, 20 percent is a LOW estimate of the people they don’t match. Second, If you mortgage your house to pay for their service, they tend to keep taking money after you cancel. Third, If you get past the empty bank account part, you find yourself matched with people who completed the questionarre, but never joined. These people can’t respond to you. So You get matches, send e-mails that the receiver can’t reply to, think you have to keep looking and pay for more of the same. Fourth E-Harmony tends to cater to the religious right loonybugs. The chipper upbeat cutsie people they parade on the tube are the FEW success stories they have among the millions more who don’t match, or cant afford the loan nessisary to become a member and answer back, or met someone who “Cut his/her left arm off for Jesus” and decided that the matches they were getting probably weren’t for them. Don’t feel too bad about being rejected by E-Bullcookies—er e-Harmony. I know it sounds like so much “shiny happy people bullkaka” to say you are so unique or you are better off without e-harmony—I know because I here the same stuff In different context and most days It makes me want to beat the snot out of the coupled up person saying it. It Happens to be true though. E-Harmony caters to a rigid Ideal of mainstream culture america that has been imported from the 50’s. Would you rather be honest to who you are or lie and wind up With a lot less money in your account and matched with some Curchbot from Mayberry and feeling worse off for it? E-Harmony Is CRAP incarnate, so feel lucky they didn’t get their grubby hooks on you. I do.

Hi Everyone!

I got accepted by e-h, then got like 1 match in 3 months, and she didn’t want to talk, she did not share e-h’s decision that we were “meant for each other”

I went back to yahoo and I am dating a girl that was rejected from e-larceny, and had always wondered why…is there something wrong with her? what could she have answered that they didn’t like? she’s also a devout Catholic!!!!

I actually feel better knowing that evidently LOTS of people get rejected from that miserable site…why??!?!?!?! There appears to be no clear reason…I think the idea that people who don’t deal well with rejection, or who are depressed don’t make the cut…I don’t really think the Christianity thing is all there is to it.

e-Harmony selection criteria are as follows:

1. You can’t be currently married
2. You can’t be under the age of 21.
3. You can’t be divorced 3 or more times.
4. You can’t suffer from severe depression.
5. No same sex matches

Yes, e-Harmony’s founder, Neil Warren is an evangelical Christian with strong ties to the Christian community, who’s dating service was initially endorsed by Focus on the Family’s James Dobson.

e-Harmony’s competitors (alphabetically):
Chemistry.com
FriendFinder
Match.com
Meetro
OKCupid
PlentyofFish
Yahoo! Personals

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=EHarmony&printable=yes

Don’t give up on love, folks!

Crystal

I had the same thing happen to me… I believe it has to do with religion.

I don’t think this is anything like persecution of a religious minority. I think it’s just that e-Harmony favors Christians, and Christians are often more comfortable with other Christians - and many times, particularly uncomfortable with non-Christians, Pagan, Wiccans, Jews, Muslims, and so on…

If you turn the situation around, imagine how Pagans or Wiccans might feel about having Fundamental Christians joining their service. They might feel awkward about it, to say the least.

But according to e-Harmony, they can’t help about 20%. That’s 1 in 5, meaning there are a *LOT* of people they can’t help…

I’m Christian, said my spirituality is the most important thing in my life. Have also been married 4 times. So just being a Christian won’t get you in! Rejected….

I have had 31 matches, only two within reasonable driving distance of my home, closed out most who did not respond to me, ended up with 3 in open communication. Of those, one guy wrote to say I was intriguing, perhaps that needle in a haystack and convinced we’d make a cute couple. I sent him my email and never heard another word. Talked by phone with the second who said he’d be back in touch in 2 months, actually had a date with the third, who told me that he had received over 300 matches and that it was almost like a daily job going through them all. My theory is that there are tons more women (over 40) than there are men on this site.

Im Catholic, same thing… Unable to match

I got the same response, then changed my responses - no luck! The system is smart. Well, I figured, maybe it’s my age - reduced that, thought I provided a profile of a normal human being — no luck — I must be hoplessly psyco.

BTW, I’m married over 20 years with kids, so someone has put up with me, but for eHarmony I’m a loser. Did it just for fun - not looking really, but the system is consistent.

We should create a new matching system: socio(pat)match.com

Well I have tried both of the online dating services, with no matches, I am a Christian, I have morals, Im honest, but you’d think if there are at least 100 million people on this planet you would at least match with one, the odd are better trying to win the Lottery than getting a date. I really thought I was alone in this. I reviewed myself 3 times, I said maybe I seemed to boring, but what i wrote was true and I decided not to make changes, let the truth stand. I believe there is a love for me somewhere. I can wait (I think) I glad to have found this site. that to all who gave there stories. I’m with the woman who said maybe we should start a rejected by online dating services or a club. I am sure there will be people in common, and some matches. Really we could talk to each other.

Rejected. This really hurts. It’s one thing to have 0 girls in a university with over 20,000 students have any interest in me. It’s another to have the internet tell me I’m so hopeless they won’t even take my money.

I was REJECTED!! Wow! I thought I only feared rejection by humans, but I was rejected by an algorithm… it’s so objective it hurts. Actually, I was really honest about the fact that I am an agnostic and that I am occasionally a little selfish and judging. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I learned my lesson. I should have sounded like Miss Teen USA during the “personality” competition. On the other hand, the people on the commercials do look pretty dull… frightfully normal. People who watch “The Bachelor” together. Maybe it’s a team I don’t want to be on.

Nope not depressed here. Or emotionally unadjusted. I have a job I love, friends, financially stable, get along with my family, own a home, partake in activities I love, even do the occasional bout of community service. But I’m “spiritual not religious” and I also got the idea that maybe I was too “independent” for a woman.

Hmmm….

I just got that same bullshit eharmony email an hour ago — unbelievable!! i want my money back. What upsets me is that they rejected me two years ago, this time they accept me, and a week later i get the “you are part of the 20% of the population” email. wtf. i dont get it.